


A box of tricks.

by Striderella



Series: Dancestors and Dreambubbles. [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comedy, F/M, M/M, NSFW, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 04:04:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5853373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Striderella/pseuds/Striderella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have been sent by Damara to collect a box of her stuff from Rufioh.  No problem, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A box of tricks.

**Author's Note:**

> My second fanfic. Hope you like it.

You flipped two birds at your Morail as you sat at the bottom of the shower fully clothed and soaking wet. It has been the third time this week that Damara has woken you up by placing you in the shower. The "Sailor Slut" as you jokingly call her stands in the doorway puffing on her cigarette and reminding you that you had promised to collect some of her things today from Rufioh. She has been banned from the hive he shares with Horuss since locking his Tinkerbull in a chest again and threatening to set it on fire. Now all communications go through you and Porrim who is not available today after finally getting Kankri to agree to let her expand his wardrobe. 

Hours later, you arrive at the hive and have been ushered in by Horuss who has set up afternoon tea. You always feel bad that Horuss and Rufioh get the least time with you. You work very hard to be around everyone. Horuss enjoys your company. You are fascinating. Your blood colour is not the same as other humans. While Kankri is considered a mutant because of his red blood, your blood happens to be rainbowed in a race of red bloods. A mix of all the colours a troll can conceive of. One of the many things that just makes you different. Because of this, you are a source of great interest to the blue blood and he has taken it upon himself to figure out just where on Beforus would you sit on the hemospectrum in regards to class, hence the very fine afternoon tea laid out as a test which you fail spectacularly as you stuff your face with a cream cake in a manner most unbecoming of a high blood. Upon noticing a slight disappointment in his face, you pick up your tea and stick out a pinky as you sip, earning an open mouth of fascination. Just when he has you figured out, you surprise him. You are truly amazing. 

You were about to ask him about his latest art piece involving a hoofbeast in a really disturbing pose when you hear a fluttering outside of the window. The blue blood leaps up like an excited school girl and rushes over to his matesprit, planting kisses as Rufioh looks embarrassed at all the fuss he is receiving. The winged troll suddenly notices your small form on the chaise lounge and smiles. Unknown to you, he found you very pleasing on the eye. However he would never act on it knowing the fury that would rain down on him from so many directions. He strolls over and gives you a playful kiss on the top of your head.

"So Doll... D1d Dams even tell you what 1t was you were collect1ng?..", he askes cautiously. 

"Nope, she just said some things in a box. I couldn't really hear very well because of the water in my ears", you respond with a mouth full of sandwich. 

"Hey... what you and Ampora get up to 1s none of my bus1ness..." he chuckles as you throw the rest of the sandwich at him. Horuss frowns. 

"Perhaps it would be a good idea to give _______ the items in a sealed container. She is after all quite a delicate little lady." he mutters, a bead of sweat gracing his forehead. 

"Nah...", grins Rufioh,"1f she chooses to hang around with Dams, she 1s clearly tougher than she looks..." He winks at you before heading into the kitchen. You look at Horuss wondering what did Damara leave. Your question is answered as a big box of dildos and vibrators are presented to you. 

"NO FREAKING WAY!", you squeal as Rufioh bursts out laughing. 

"What d1d you expect doll?....". Your mind is flooded with questions. Why does she have so many? Why did she send you to get them? How is she able to walk? Horuss sees the look on your face and presents you with a bag big enough to cover and hold the collection of dicks. You say your goodbyes to the pair as they attempt to stifle their giggles. You pray you don't bump into either of the seadwellers on the way home. That would just make everything peachy. The loud howls of laughter after you close the door haunt you all the way home.

Later as Damara sorts through her collection as you research anything that will wipe the images out of your head, she screams. Oh Gog, please don't say one is missing and you have to go back for it. Please no. You bet it is a big nasty one with a name as well. You are dreading the idea of going back and you hope Porrim returns soon when Damara slams the biggest dildo you had ever seen in front of you. This thing was a foot long, wider than both your wrists, and coloured the worst shade of pink you had ever seen. 

"THIS NOT MINE", she yells. "THIS MUST BELONG TO HORSE FUCKER". Before she can even ask you to return it, you leap six feet in the air and declare you will be at Latula's for the rest of the day.


End file.
